Staying away from sweets is so hard.  Everytime I see someone else eating dessert, either in person or on tv, I start craving dessert.  I WANT CHOCOLATE!!!
I recently read an article that said that eating healthy is no more expensive than eating junk food. Wrong!  I'm spending way more money on food now.  What really sucks is that I had almost 3 weeks off of work in December, because I work for a college.  I get paid once a month.  Which means my paycheck at the end of this month will be over 2/3 less than usual.  I have no idea how I am going to stay on this diet this month when I can't do what I usually do when I'm broke...I eat lots of rice and bread.  It's cheap and filling. So the question is, "Do I eat healthy and risk not being able to pay this month's bills, or do I eat foods that will make me gain weight, and pay one or two more bills?

Hey, guess what! I've been married for 21 years today.  We couldn't really celebrate it, due to a lack of money, but we did eat at Carl's Jr. because we had a buy one combo, get one free card.  It only cost us about $8.  I got the chicken club wrapped in lettuce, without the bun.  Rick had a burger wrapped in lettuce, without the bun.  We had side salads instead of fries, and small diet sodas.  I know, diet sodas aren't good for you, but I don't drink them very much at all.  I drink mostly water.  Rick has a gift card to a movie theatre, that he got for Christmas.  If we see the matinee, it will cover 2 tickets.  We're going to go see that Hansel and Gretel, Witch Hunters movie. 

I feel like I have something in my eye.  It has felt that way for the last 10+ hours.  It hurts, and it's driving me crazy.  I tried flushing my eye with an eye wash.  It didn't help.  Maybe it will feel better in the morning.  I
I know better than to eat nuts when I have diverticulitis, but I did it anyway.  I was visiting a friend Thursday and she had almonds I was snacking on.  Eating nuts when you have diverticulitis can cause a flare up.  And I've definitely been suffering from a flare up since yesterday.  What made it worse was that I kept forgetting to take my fiber this week. 

These flare ups are horrible.  I feel feverish, I shake, and I'm so constipated that I feel like I have rocks in my gut.  I've been this way since yesterday, but I'm starting to feel better.  I've taken the maximum dose of fiber capsules today.  I didn't exactly eat good this afternoon, though.  I didn't wake up until almost noon and I ate a meatball sandwich from Subway for my breakfast/lunch.  I had a salad and some marinated flat steak for dinner. 

I've got the munchies right now, but I'm feeling too lazy to look for something to snack on.  That's probably a good thing.  I need to go to the store tomorrow and buy some low carb snacks.  I just created a page with a list of low carb snacks.  I'm going to have to print that list and take it with me to the store.  Dieting really is hard, but I can do this.
I've been suffering from a lot of knee pain.  My weight has really done a number on my knees.  I know that the will never be completely better.  The damage is already done.  All I can hope for is that not having all this extra weight on them will reduce the pain. 

I'm not really sure how I got to this point.  At some point junk food became the most exciting thing in my life.  It gave me the rush I was looking for.  It was also easy.  Hungry? No problem, go thru a drive thru.  Depressed? I think I just saw a bag of chips in the cabinet.  Sometimes eating is just the only thing to do.  When family visits what do we do?  We go out to eat.  Well that's stopping now.  Of course, this means I need to find something else to do when I'm bored, depressed, or family is visiting. I'll think of something.

I usually bring some snack to work with me.  I don't like to eat big meals.  I try to eat smaller meals and snack on health foods between meals.  I was so busy at work today that I forgot to have a snack.  I also didn't get enough sleep last night, so when I went home for lunch, I was really tired and hungry.  I was so tired that I couldn't get off the couch to make some lunch.  So when my son, Ryan, got home from school I asked him to run out and get me a Big Mac meal.  Yes, I said it.  I ate a dreaded, unhealthy Big Mac meal. I refuse to feel guilty though.  I'm going to learn from this.  I need to remember to snack when I'm really hungry, and I'm going to try to get more sleep. The sleeping thing will be the hardest.
My knee is killing me today. It hurts so bad.  So does my lower back.  I'm craving sugar really bad, but I'm fighting it.  I did eat some sugar free jello. It was good, but it's not chocolate.

I'm doing a low carb diet because that is what my husband has been doing for the last year, and it's way easier to do a diet if someone else in your home is doing it too.  He's lost over 90 lbs.  I'm proud of him, even though he has the advantage of not having sweet cravings.  It's so not fair.

Yesterday my heart had this weird fluttering feeling.  It really scared me.  I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Today I begin my journey.  From this point on, everything I do will be for the express purpose of molding myself into the me I want to be.  I want to be happy and healthy. 

Please leave me comments to help encourage me, or to let me know about your self improvement journey.  Let's encourage each other.  My goal is go from 289 lbs. to 140 lbs.  I'm not setting a time limit on this goal.  I think that would only discourage me if I didn't make my goal time. 

I started my journey this morning by doing a short yoga video in bed.  Yep, you heard me right.  I did yoga before getting out of my bed.  It only took about 3 minutes, but it was a great wake up routine.  Below is the YouTube video that I did in bed.  Just this small about of stretching made my shoulder start hurting.  I am that out of shape.